The Band of Darkness

Looking out my window at the band of darkness.

I sat by the window this morning, aware of a heaviness, like a band of darkness, over me. I wasn't feeling good--again--and my mind immediately went to those dreaded thoughts of cancer.

The fear cancer brings can loom over your mind just like a dark cloud. It's the uncertainty—the what-ifs. Every discomfort, every little ache or pain, can add to the worry of its return—unless it is confronted.

The earliest hint of morning was showing on the horizon. I noticed a black band stretching across the sky. It was only a cloud bank, but it looked solid, like an iron wall restricting the light from rising.

That's how I feel right now, Lord.

I kept watching as the minutes ticked closer to sunrise.  As the light increased, I noticed holes were forming in what had seemed impenetrable. Excitement rose in my spirit, and I sensed a new lesson was coming. So, I quickly grabbed my phone and took a picture.

Punching through the darkness.

"The entrance of your word gives light, so even the simple can understand" Psalm 119:130.

A thought much smarter than me entered my mind, "Hope pierces the darkness, daughter. Where is your hope right now?"

"My hope is in You, Lord," I replied hesitantly, realizing I had not been acting like it.

He continued, "How are you using your faith in this situation, child?"

I had to admit that I wasn't using my faith at all. I was wallowing under that moody darkness, letting it control my thoughts. Then I remembered another time when the Lord encouraged me out of discouragement. "Daughter, tell Me what you know to be true."

The Lord knew I was tangled in the weeds of negativity and needed coaxing out into the light. I didn't feel like doing it, but I finally responded: "You are my Shepherd, Lord. I can trust that You will lead me."

Tears caught in my throat. "Your Word says that I will not lack any good thing and that my life is in Your hands. I believe that You will never leave me or forsake me."

New strength began to rise as I continued. "You promised in Jeremiah 33:6 that You will bring health and healing, prosperity and security to Your people. You have not given me a spirit of fear (or discouragement!) but power, love, and a sound mind."

The longer I confessed the truth, the more determined I became until I was shouting God's Word. I could feel discouragement actually lifting as my heart rose to the level of my confession.

I realized that what I was seeing out my window was a perfect illustration of the same lesson. As the sun rose, light pierced holes through the cloud cover, and the black band of darkness began to dissipate.

Light overcomes the darkness.

I realize that pain, whatever might be causing it, is very challenging, and it can be exhausting. I would never make light of that. But we have to be mindful that the enemy of our souls wants us to stay under a dark cloud of hopelessness because it leads to a crushed spirit.

"A crushed spirit dries the bones, but a joyful heart is like a medicine" (Proverbs 17:22).

We have been given weapons of warfare--His Word--but weapons must be used. In a battle, it's not enough to think about your weapons. Though meditating on God's Word is essential, when faced with an attack of fear or discouragement, His Word must be on our lips. God has given us the authority to display his wisdom in its rich variety to all the unseen rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 3:10-21)

Light wins and the darkness recedes.

We have to speak to the cloud!

We can have a weapon in the closet of our heart, but keeping it hidden there won't chase away the enemy.

Warfare requires declaration!

Think of David when he faced Goliath. That giant loomed several feet above David, shouting his threats. Even David's brothers threw negatives at David. "Why have you come down here?...how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is..." (Sometimes trouble comes at us from unexpected directions). But what did David do? He sure didn't sit down and sulk in the face of those threats from the enemy. The first thing he did was warn his brothers: "Don't lose heart..." Then, filled with the Holy Spirit and with the Truth in his mouth, David addressed Goliath: "You come against me with your threats and fears... but I come against you in the name of the LORD of hosts..." (from 1 Samuel 17:45)

The band of darkness over the horizon dissipated as the light grew stronger. I knew what the Lord wanted me to do. So, I spoke to the heaviness threatening to steal my joy: "I take authority over you in the name of Jesus. I am a child of God. My Father has NOT created me to sit under your lies, devil! I will not yield to a spirit of fear because the blood of Jesus Christ has given me the spirit of power, love, and a sound mind!"

Not only did the spiritual and emotional heaviness leave, but I began to feel physically better, as well. I had the sense that He was pleased. Gratitude bubbled up in my heart, and joy followed me the rest of the day.

If you are battling anxiety, especially as it relates to cancer, I invite you to read my mini book:

He Restores My Soul - Finding Freedom from Anxiety.

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God bless you!