“Let’s sit on the swing, Mimmy.”  Will said.  His royal blue eyes sparkled beneath the fringe of thick black lashes.  How could I  say no to that?

We bundled under the dew dampened quilt with my dog Molly nestled between us. The rhythmic  creak of the swing proclaimed another gentle moment.

Suddenly, the neighbor’s lawn tractor whirred into high gear.  As it growled from backyard to front, our conversation swung from quiet to …..BLAH, WAH THA WAH?

Tractor in the distance:  “Do you let Molly  (dog) sleep on your lap, Mimmy?”

Tractor approaching:  “Only when I’m chilly.”

Full Roar…Tractor retreating…  Will says, “Who’s Fontilly?”

“FONTILLY? I said when I’m chilly.”  The laughter ensued through the next couple swipes of the tractor.

“By the way, I loved my beautiful mother’s day card, Will.”

Tractor approaching:  “My Dad came to see you but you weren’t home.”

Roar increasing: “I’m sorry I missed him.”

Tractor retreating:   “Who’s Omisscum?”

“OMISSCUM? I said I missed him.”

Omisscum Fontilly.   A new character has been born into the Stevens’ legacy of  stories.   With my son, Kyle, it was the adventures of Hoobie Obers and Glosh Colbereen.  With Jonathan it was The Doon Family Christmas.  Brook’s Brooker T. Puddy-Bottom The Adaptable Duck, Owen’s Baby Moose and Joey Dirty.  Then  Everett and the Big Fat Chicken….the list goes on.

Stories are born from quiet swings of conversation on some perch like my porch, or sitting on the end of  a bed for one last story at night.   Time is the key.  Time to be silly.  Time when you’re not too tired to listen.  Time to allow little hearts to open.

“Mimmy, do you still cry for Papa?” she suddenly asked.

Time to hear anxious thoughts tucked behind youthful busyness,  the tougher questions of the heart that keep them thinking long after that last good-night.

What brings  joy that cannot be taken?

Joy…God’s ultimate surprise for His creation.  Only He knows how to  bring those tailor-made delights.

Joy… greater than happiness dependent upon circumstances.

Joy… making gratitude.

Joy…the peaceful purr in our hearts that comes from knowing God is in control.

When laughter rings we drink the medicine of Heaven.

Lord,  there are so many hurting people.  Only You can bring them lasting joy.  I pray for all my friends and ask you, dear Father, to custom design special delights of joy for each one of them.  Thank you that you are a God of joy and laughter.  In Jesus name, Amen.

I’ve recently taken to sitting in the middle of the swing seat.  When I sit at one end the swing doesn’t rock smoothly, and it emits a grinding creek that barks in contrast to nature’s morning symphony.

A widow’s challenge: no matter what she does, her swing just doesn’t glide the same. There’s a lop-sidedness to life.  A grind. A cold imbalance.

The empty place beside me has loomed large these past four years; but, I believe there’s been a shift.  Like the yielding of one season to the next, it happens without our effort – only there to watch in amazement.  I never believed it was possible.  I thought forever winter as my only lot.

I think I’ve stopped  unconsciously waiting for him to join me.  I didn’t realize I was waiting – until I wasn’t.  The world seems a more balanced now. There’s a softness, like spring’s warm breath.  That wretched scrape and groan is gone.

I thought I’d never be able to think about him without feeling pain.  I’m grateful to share I can.  

“Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart…” the Lord encourages.  ALL my heart.  ALL my mind.  ALL my soul.”

I chew on this verse today…and sing it…and smell the sweetness of the morning.  His fragrance surrounds me as bursting spring blossoms herald “winter’s past…”

Somehow I’ve moved to the middle of my swing.  Acceptance?  Dare I confess…contentment…?

God has moved me to a balanced place.  “In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE will bring it to pass.”

I took my grandkids to the place Bill and I loved to go together.  I haven’t been there since his illness started – maybe ten or twelve years ago.  Startled that I actually found it, my joy could not have been fuller.  The color, the water, the air, the smell of the trees… radiant…intoxicating…and I didn’t cry.

“And ye shall be like a tree planted by rivers of living water….and your leaves will not whither….and everything you put your hand to will prosper.”

Even in grief….”everything shall prosper”   

Rest fair, my beloved….in the bosom of Jesus.  All is well.

Flashes of bright orange and gold…dozens of them circling around my porch swing. I put my Bible down and grabbed my camera sitting beside me.

Of course, as soon as I moved….   

This was the only one I could catch.  The others refused to stand still – much less say “cheese”.

There’s always a little lift in my spirit when something out of the ordinary appears before me.  I start to listen.  Lord, is this a present from You?  I choose to believe it is. What is Your message in this?

It’s amazing to think this beautiful butterfly spent the first part of its life slugging along in the dirt. God knows the dung heaps it might have crawled through.   Slow. Unnoticed.   Scraping along the ground. Nobody gasps in awe at the sight of a caterpillar.  Some capture our attention as we try to predict the severity of the coming winter by the stripes on its back.  But most are just flicked out of the way.

It’s difficult to know which end is which on a caterpillar.  Butt?  Head?  Butt? Head? When I think of my past, I can relate to this.

But, look at her now!  Who would believe was she was before? Her transformation is complete and life is totally different. Even the digestive system is new.  The caterpillar had to chomp and chew.  The butterfly draws nectar.

“If Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. (His not ours)  But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through the Spirit who dwell in you.”       Ro 8:10-11

Think about it!  We have new LIFE given to us. We don’t have to chomp and chew and grovel in the dirt. Just like the butterfly, we can never go back to being a caterpillar.  We are new creations.

“He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves but for Him who died for them and rose again.”  2Cor 5:15.

We have to shake the caterpillar mentality, don’t you think?  Why look back at what WAS… when what IS now is so wonderful?

“Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh….if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”    2 Cor 5:16-17

New!   Not a little bit butterfly and a little bit caterpillar.

Totally New!

New is Kainos in the Greek:  a new creation, a new character of manhood, spiritual and moral, after the pattern of Christ.

A creative act of God.

Think about that phrase:  A CREATIVE ACT OF GOD.  Just as God spoke and the world was made.  He spoke and there was sky and earth and wind and stars and…..  us!  

I think about the little bundle of fragrance the beloved wore around her neck (see My Myrrh blog).   When we meditate, the warmth of our love and faith (breasts) will cause the fragrance of Christ to permeate all of our being.

Do you need change in your life?  Is the enemy plaguing you with thoughts of condemnation… “you’re just a caterpillar, you’ll never fly…”   Meditate on on the sweetness of the Word.   Meditate on the finished work of Christ.  ”Think, mutter, chew on, study, talk about, continually drawing from” the revelation that we are the creative work of the God.

We cannot meditate on the medicine of the Word and stay the same.

Are your wings spread?   If not… break forth …. spread your wings…. lift your heart to the current of the Holy Spirit and fly….. fearlessly.

Lord, give us eyes of understanding that we may know the hope of our new birth.  Gives us wisdom and faith to believe that we are new creations in You.  Help us embrace the new normal and catch the wind of Your Spirit…to fly.  We love you.  In Jesus name, Amen

“My love to me is like a cluster of Henna (camphire) in the vineyards of Engedi.”

The Bible is replete with hidden treasures that define Jesus.  I love these obscure little “pointers” that show me who He is.  The Song of Solomon is full of them.

I love allegories.  As long as they are used to inspire love for Jesus and His Word – fine.  They are not independently for the shaping of doctrine.  With that said…

Remembering the Beloved is saying her lover is like this. Henna grew in the unusual tropical area of Palestine called En-gedi.  The twigs and leaves were used to make a special dye for coloring the body, nails and the soles of feet reddish orange.

Henna is also anti-fungal in nature.  It repels some insect pests and mildew.  It is also used in the making of perfume.  

Okay – we may not worry about the attraction of the soles of our feet in this culture, but the Bible refers to  feet often.    

ie.  ”How beautiful are the feet of  those who preach the gospel of peace…glad tidings of good things!” Rom 10:15   Our feet represent our walk, our journey and our dominion.  So, our feet are called lovely when we bring the revelation of Jesus.  

Foot washing was used to wash the dust of our journey off our feet.  Only Jesus  can wash the effects of this world off us. (You can also see a few references to feet in Joshua 14:9,  Deut.11:24, 1King 5:3)

“He will guard the feet of his saints.” 1 Sam 2:9  ”My lover is like Henna…”  Jesus removes the dust of the world,  He protects me from pests and the curses of mold and mildew,  He is my fragrance.  He makes me feet ready – like  Hines feet so I am able to leap over a wall, follow Him through the mountains and valleys.  Wherever He leads me, I will be equipped to follow.

See how neat meditating on these details can be?  I hope you’re enjoying it as much as I do.  I’m wild with joy right now.

Henna was rare and valued, highly sought after.  

Knowing Jesus is more precious than anything else we can seek after. 

Engedi: a fountain and town originally called Hazaron-Tamar, meaning  the pruning of a palm.  It was in the wilderness by the Dead Sea, in the tribe of Juday.  The only way there was a difficult route, crowded between the mountain and the sea.  There is a huge natural hot spring of fresh water (copious spring)  this fountain created an oasis in the desert, ripe with tropical vegetation and celebrated for palms, vineyards and balsam.

Stay with me now….this is a bit dry; however, the Holy Spirit doesn’t mention these details in Scripture for no reason.  Every detail has a rich treasure, or a pointer of some kind directing us and confirming His truth.

 Jesus is like a cluster of Henna picked from the abundance of His presence. He is the source of our beauty.  He adorns us with Himself and thus we become beautiful.  

Jesus is my oasis in the desert.  He is my copious fountain of fresh water in the wilderness.  

Palms: grew prolifically in the Oasis of Engedi.  The Palm tree is very significant here because Palms have living centers.  The fruit of the palm tree is sweetest when the trunk has been scarred.  It is flexible and the route system is very deep.  I believe the palm tree in mention is the Date Palm, native to the middle east, the fruit is the date.

Jesus gives me my living center.  He makes me flexible to withstand the storms of life.  The scars He bore for me makes my fruit sweet.  As I grow in Him my roots go deep into the ground of Him love and I bare fruit that remains. 

Engedi also was a great source for Balsam.  Balsam sap was used as an ointment for the healing of wounds (Jer 2:8)  Many link this with the Balm of Gilead, fragrant gum for incenses.  Mixed with water it was used as a medicine.

Beside the fountain of Living Water, I find the ointment for my wounds.  His Word mixed with His Presence becomes my medicine.

“The Lord takes pleasure in His people.  He will BEAUTIFY the MEEK with SALVATION.” Ps.149:4 emphasis mine)

“And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through MY comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith God.”  Ex16:14.

Dearest Lord,  take us to Your oasis of peace, fruitfulness and healing.  Help us to believe and send our roots deeply into the soil of Your love.  Help us to drink deeply of Jesus, our Living Water.  Thank you for a taste of Heaven’s honey today.  We love you. Amen.

“My Lover is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts.”

It was customary in eastern cultures for women to take a little bundle of spices and conceal them in their bosom.  The warmth of their breasts would cause the fragrance to cover their whole body.

I always thought myrrh was something like lavender which is a common sachet ingredient, but it is not.  Myrrh is harvested from a tree.

It is a natural resin. When a tree wound penetrates the bark into the sapwood it bleeds a resin.  When people harvest myrrh they wound the tree repeatedly to bleed them of the gum. 

Myrrh in the seat of our heart, between our breasts (which speak of faith and love)  is a picture of the wounded, pierced, broken Savior who bled and died for us.

His enemies thought by torturing and crucifying Him they would gain the victory.  But His Father knew what He was doing.  God used the enemies of Jesus to advance His purposes. By piercing Jesus, the fragrance was released!

What do we hold and guard with our faith and love?  The finished work of Jesus.

What meditation brings transformation?  The finished work of Jesus.

What will emanate from our lives when we focus, meditate, guard, and cherish Jesus and His finished work on Calvary?  The fragrance of His life in us – and through us.

That is why Paul always prayed that God would give “(us) a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him , (that) the eyes of (our) understanding being enlightened; may know what is the hope of His calling,”  read  Ephes. 1:15-23

2Cor 2:14  …Thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.  For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.”

The Message reads: …In Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade.  Through us, he brings knowledge of Christ.  Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance.  Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation – an aroma redolent with life.

Lord, take residence in the seat of my affections.  Be the every increasing object of my devotion.  Give me revelation of the hope of Your calling through the  finished work of Your dear Son.

Baby Moose did not know that a stinky, awful, very dark cloud was following close behind him until…

Well, this is the start of another Baby Moose adventure book.  I’m finishing up the artwork and beginning to look for a publisher.  I’d appreciate the prayers of my blog-fam.  Another question: self-publishing?   We’ll see.

Instead of  receiving it, you reply with embarrassment: “Yeah, well don’t come too close, if these buttons blow you’ll get hurt.”

This makes me laugh, but seriously..do you get uncomfortable when being noticed?  The woman in the Song of Solomon felt that way.  (we’ll be looking at Song of Solomon 1:5-7)

I think the dialogue might of gone like this: I am like the “tents of Kedar” (black, dark, conscious of our nature in Adam).

He replies:  I see you as “the curtains of Solomon” (made of fine linen which points to righteousness in Christ, symbolic of inner beauty.)

She says, “Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun.”  (pale skin was considered a thing of great beauty at that time.)

“My mother’s sons were angry with me, my own vineyard I have neglected.”

Why did she need to explain the way she was?  It’s because of my circumstances I am the way I am. Before you see my faults I’m going to tell you what they are…to explain it’s not really me…

What did the Beloved mean when she said, “My own vineyard I have neglected?”  I have been so busy working in the vineyards of others there is no time left to tend my own? 

If the Lord walked up to you today, put His face close to yours and said, “You are beautiful.”  Would you refute what He says? But look at this… I haven’t read my Bible…I’ve slipped again…I’m not…I’m “dark”…

But then in the next verse she is asks “Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your flock and were you rest your sheep at midday.”

What happened?  She went from don’t look at me, to take me with you.   

I think the blessed Holy Spirit is showing us the answer to our needs.   Show me where you live. I want to abide with you. Show me the path of rest and devotion.   The key: Show me who You are.

Being with Him stirs  fresh confidence:

V 1:7 “Why should I be like a veiled woman beside the flocks of your friends?”  I don’t need to hide anymore.  

With him she felt complete.

2 Cor 3:18 “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” It’s safe to take your veil off.

…”therefore (because we are being transformed into the image of Christ by the Spirit)  we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart.”

Lord, You make us burst with joy when we see that we are complete in You.  I am so grateful that You said, “It is finished!”  No more veils.  No more shame.  No  inner agony.  I rejoice in this hope – we will not lose heart…we are all together lovely in You.  Free from the past.  Free from all condemnation… rejoice, rejoice, rejoice!

When invited to a gathering, I’d go, but I just sat there, merely surrounded by people. There was no connection.  I listened to the conversation, but I had no words – except words of overwhelming pain.

My inner needle was stuck on hurt.  Like a broken record, all I could do was go over and over the same spot.  It was nearly impossible to accept the fact that there was no choice in the matter.  He was gone, and I couldn’t change that – by being strong, doing everything right, saying the right faith words…. it was my new reality, like it or not.

Somewhere in the haze of those first years I began to feel a shift.  Something was happening in my heart.  An awakening.  Drawing.  A wooing.  He was pursuing me. He was carrying me out of the wilderness.

Jer. 31:3 “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.  Again I will build you and you shall be rebuilt…”

Hosea 11:4 “I drew (you) with gentle cords, with bands of love…I stooped and fed (you).”

Sol. 1:3-4  ”Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes…” (essence) “Your name (Your revealed character) is like perfume (oil) poured out.”  He poured out…He pours out…He is pouring out.  Nothing withheld.

“No wonder the maidens (virgins) love you! Take me away with you – let us hurry!  The king has brought me into his chambers.”  He takes us there!  The drawing power of the Lord generates the pursuing in us.

Where do we go to find oil for our lamps? Where do we go to rekindle our flickering lights?  From knowing Him. From the kisses of intimacy, from the drawing-pursuing relationship with Jesus.  You cannot borrow this from anyone else.  You must draw for yourself.

The revelation of Jesus is our secret place, our wing, our dwelling. ”by the multitude of revelation He made known to me the mystery..”(Ephes 3:3)

Ps 91:1-2  ”He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him will I trust.”

Because we dwell…we can say…

Because He has revealed Himself …we can say…

It’s by knowing His wonderful-ness…that we can say…

Ps 63:6-8 (my emphasis)  ”When I remember You…meditate on You…because You have been my help…therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.  My soul follows close behind You (runs clinging- holding on for dear life)  Your right hand upholds me.”

He shows us Himself….new desire is created, new tastes, in us.

He shows us Himself…and freedom to embrace life follows.

He show us Himself…and our trust and faith grow.

He shows us Himself…and we never want to let go…but

if we do begin to lose our grip….He show us His hold is even tighter.

When life takes from us, and we grieve with the shock of loss, He reveals Himself…

and reveals Himself…over and over…until wrapped in those cords of kindness, we dare to let go.

Thank you Lord.  Your Presence surrounds us today.  You are calling.  Tapping softly.  We open the door of our hearts to You, Beloved Lord.  Bring in the food that satisfies and let us eat together.  Amen. 

We’ve been created to be responders.  I remember my husband being absorbed in a movie one time, I reached over to give him a kiss and … well,

a peck without taking his eyes off the TV is not a kiss-kiss.  Enough said.

A half-sided kiss is not complete.

If the Lord has kisses for us...is it possible for us to kiss the Lord?

Hold on to your hats and get ready for a joy explosion:

The greek word for worship is proskuneo,  from pros: toward, and kuneo: to kiss! 

When we worship God… we are sending Him kisses!

The longer I knew my husband, the sweeter his kisses became,  because I was learning what a wonderful man he was.   And it’s knowing Jesus that makes us want to worship.

But wait, there’s more…

Proverbs 24:26 says, “He who gives a right answer kisses the lips.”  First, as I wrote in part one, God’s Word is the fruit of His lips.  His words, bearing fruit in our hearts, are the very weapons we need for  anything life throws us.

Every time God speaks – He creates something. When a scripture leaps off the page, can you feel something shift on the inside?  You’ve been kissed – something has been created in you.

When we lift His word back to Him – we are kissing His lips.  When we answer our circumstances with words of Faith – we are blowing Him kisses.

When our emotions say, “I feel so down and dry,” yet we answer our hearts with, “but He is the lifter of my head and my ever present wellspring of living water,” we are kissing His lips!

I was meditating on this concept and suddenly a picture filled my thoughts.  The Lord was sitting on a stump with His elbows resting on His knees, and He was devouring a great, big, juicy orange.  

“What is this?” I asked.

Then I saw the label on the orange…Sunkissed!

Corny?  No way. These little love tokens and caresses from Jesus are just the thing we need to keep going.  Remember it’s not right behavior that brings Him joy – it’s right believing.  And that in turn leads to right behavior.

I’m dancing at my computer right now.

And how perfect is the orange to convey fresh-sweet-delicious-better than wine-fulfilling-drippy joy.

There are all sorts of kisses.  Candy kisses.  Butterfly kisses.  Little kiss smudges left on the window after the kids come for a visit.  Mom’s kisses. Hello kisses. Good-bye kisses.  Family kisses.  The kisses of a friend.  Even little licks on your ankle from a pet.

Then there are the kind of kisses saved for your spouse.  Unlike any other, they are lingering kisses of love and sweet commitment.

But did you know there is another kind of kiss as mentioned in the Song of Solomon?  These are the kisses of the Heavenly Bridegroom saved for His Beloved Bride.

I looked up “kisses” in the Strong’s Concordance and discovered:  KISS – (nasahaq) carries the meaning to fasten upon, to touch as a mode of attachment.  It comes from the root, nasaq, meaning to kindle, burn, catch fire.

Are you ready to be blown away?  It also means: to equip with weapons. 

Think about it.  Our weapons come from the fruit of His lips, His Words, tenderly spoken to our hearts. Not the casual kiss, like that of a friend, but going beyond that to deeper, undivided love.  This is the relationship that sets our hearts ablaze.

My husband used to blow me a kiss over his shoulder.  They were funny and lighthearted; but the kisses that cemented our relationship were when he’d stop what he was doing, sweep me into his embrace, look me in the eyes and kiss me.  Face to face.  Nothing distracting. Not in a hurry. Giving full attention.

“Kiss me with the kisses of your mouth for your love is more delightful than wine.” Sol.1:2   Wine symbolizes things we turn to other than Jesus.  We have wonderful relationships and blessings in this world, but nothing is sweeter that the fruit of our relationship with Him.

The heat of battle is not the time to learn about our defenses. That is not the time to wonder if He’s there for you.  It’s in the quiet time that weapons are planted in our heart.  When trials come,  those things God has made alive in us will rise to the surface and shield us.

Times alone – with no distractions.  Times spent talking, learning who He is. Time spent contemplating and rehearsing His truth.

I will always remember and cherish my husband’s kisses. I miss standing on my tippy toes to reach for him.

Each day, when I go to my comfy chair to be with Him, I anticipate His kisses.  Heavenly kisses that can never be taken away.